Open Letter to Food

I am less than two weeks out to my first appointment at the U of M weight manangement center. I have to be honest and say that I am getting a little nervous. I have yet to start my food journal. I'm afraid to see what I really eat every day. I know this is something that I will have to face in the upcoming months. I figured as a way of open therapy I would write a letter to "food". To some this may seem strange but for someone who has struggled with food her entire life this decision to have surgery is a very emotional one for me. I am going to have to learn to look at food differently and through new eyes. I have also used food as a way of shielding me from life and keeping me from experiencing things becuase I didn't want to feel the pain. I equate my decision to have the surgery to a snake shedding it's skin. There will be a new me after this is done. I hope I like what I see and I hope my friends and family do too.

Dear Food,
You have been my constant friend when others were not. You have been there when I have been sad, happy, angry or lonely. You have taken the place of lovers lost and friends who walked away. I grew up with you in my life every day. You never yelled at me, grounded me or sent me to my room. You were my comfort when my dad yelled at me and my salvation when I couldn't talk back. I learned a lot from you food. I used you as a shield so I wouldn't have to face lifes disappointments. As my need for you grew so did I. I didn't see it at first but as the years went by I have become more aware of your presence. I am now an adult and for the first time in my 40 years I can honestly say that I do not want you to be my constant any longer. I am finally aware that there is more to life than you food. I won't be giving you up totally but you and I need to come to an understanding. I will not be seeking you out to provide me comfort in my time of sadness or loneliness. You will be there to provide me with noursihment when I need it and energy to get me through the day. I am not perfect and I know there will be struggles along the way. All I ask is that you be patient and understand where I am coming from. This is a 40 year relationship that I have to change and it can't be done overnight. I will always love you but it's time to change.